Coffee Corner Discussions
Get to know other SAP Community members during your coffee break. Join discussions on a variety of topics in a casual environment.
cancel
Showing results for 
Search instead for 
Did you mean: 

Jokes corner

manfredKlein
Participant

Humor up your life. My brain was able to store lots of jokes. Somehow most is lost now in the late 40ies. If you have brain like strainer you have to write down. Ok, lets do this...

 

... asked my daughter to hand me the newspaper. She scolded me being old fashioned and handed me her smart phone. Ok. The fly is dead now...

72 REPLIES 72

manfredKlein
Participant

Dogs have masters/mistresses, cats have servants.

DellSC
Active Contributor

I always heard this as "cats have minions".  🙂

A cat with the name Gru?

LaurensDeprost
Contributor

An SQL query walks into a bar, walks up to two tables and asks: "Can I join you?" 🤓

matt
Active Contributor

You must be part of the Union.

Bathroom is locked to prevent unauthorized access. You have to ask the bartender for the proper foreign key. Otherwise you can't flush your contents.

If you are not commited you can roll back to the entrance.

If you join two identical tables one will disappear.

matt
Active Contributor

From Terry Pratchett.
The wizard Humptulip's book (Howe To Kille Insects) is a valuable tool and reference when killing insects, especially since it has 2000 pages.

SimoneMilesi
Active Contributor
0 Kudos

PTerry is just love.
Always.

0 Kudos

There must be some more editions of this book in the L-space. Wait. Why is there an imprint of archaeopteryx on the back??

matt
Active Contributor

Authorisation failure?

That Sapalling.

abo
Active Contributor

Person 1: The glass is 1/2 full

Person 2: The glass is 1/2 empty

Excel: The glass is the 1st of February

(Shamelessly stolen from a tweet)

engineer: The glass is 100% oversized. (also stolen somewhere)

Manager asks water : Can you stretch a little to fill the glass completely, so we can mark as 100% billable utilization.

Matrix: 'Don't try to bend the glass. That's impossible.' 'Why?' 'Because the glass doesn't exist.'

manfredKlein
Participant

My boss forbade me giving my colleagues nicknames. Obviously §$%&-face, ($"§/&-bag and ?=/&$-mass objected.

mmcisme1
Active Contributor

I met someone at a function last night, I asked for their number so I could call them.   They told me it was classified.

MortenWittrock
Active Contributor

https://blogs.sap.com/2016/12/14/an-in-memory-database-by-any-other-name-would-be-as-fast/

Yes, I will keep stubbornly posting this until it gets a laugh 😄

matt
Active Contributor

I smiled...

MortenWittrock
Active Contributor

Thank you! That's much appreciated 🙂

Agree - nice way to start my morning with a smile too! Keep them coming!


----- Find out What's New in SAP Community - click on "Options - Subscribe" today!-----

manfredKlein
Participant

'Hey! Smoking Dope makes you indifferent!' - ' Bah! I don't care!'

manfredKlein
Participant

Real life is the best comedy. Our system refuses to send mails with noreply@mycompany.com. Proposed solution is to create a mail account with noreply@mycompany.com, seriously???

 

'Hi, where do You come from?' - 'I'm from Potempkin town.'

0 Kudos

😄😄  My favorite still has to be and always is.   Busy....  Please take a coffee break.  (Or something similar.  An older version of SAP)

The mark of insanity - doing the same exact thing and expecting a different result.

>>"The mark of insanity - doing the same exact thing and expecting a different result."

So playing Lottery definitely qualifies for that.

0 Kudos

I would say yes - But....   Sometimes you get that ticket and start dreaming a bit more.

Hello, 

I remind too, when you use too much memory you ll get this message...

"Your process consume too much memory It's time to have a break and take a coffee"..

I remind also why I get this message and how i solved it... (my fault 😉 )

0 Kudos

I'm from Accra, Ghana.

manfredKlein
Participant

My Boss told me to take over more responsibility and decide more on my own. Ok. We now have a bouncy castle in the conference hall.

manfredKlein
Participant

My cat and me had some dispute about the armchair. After a short demonstration of authority this is now settled. Gosh! Cat claws hurt. The floor is hard.

manfredKlein
Participant

Heard lately that coffee makes aggressive. There seems to be some truth in it. Had 15 beers yesterday and my wife had 3 coffee. Woah, she was really aggressive when I arrived home...

MortenWittrock
Active Contributor

Here's one for the math geeks:

An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first mathematician orders a beer, the second mathematician orders half a beer, the third one orders a quarter of a beer, and on it goes.

After a short while, the bartender interrupts them, pours two beers and says "You people really should know your limits."

Some more math:

How does a math guy lock in 40 sheep with only 4 meters of fence?

Forms a square and defines the outer as inner.

manfredKlein
Participant

If you place your ear on the hot cooking plate, you can smell how completely nuts you are.

manfredKlein
Participant

I'm looking forward to, when my daughter will have her driving license. I'll sit in the back and ask her questions. RELENTLESSLY.

manfredKlein
Participant

I'm so lazy. I do not even watch sports.

manfredKlein
Participant

Our little son wrote a wish list for Santa. To ease his job, he prioritized the wishes. Only all but one are marked with URGENT. Future management +1.

manfredKlein
Participant

No joke. It's short before Christmas...

Season's greetings to all of You.

See You safe and sound, next year!!!

mmcisme1
Active Contributor

Just read this one:

A man tells his doctor, He's addicted to Twitter.

The doctor tells the man "Sorry but I don't follow you...."