Software Jokes.....

[Former Member]

If computer languages were car!

• C is a racing car that goes incredibly fast but breaks down every fifty miles.

• C++ is a souped-up racing car with dozens of extra features that only breaks down every 250 miles, but when it does, nobody can figure out what went wrong.

• Java is a family station wagon. It's easy to drive, it's not that fast, and nobody wants to drive it.

• C# is a competing model of family station wagons. Once you use this, you're never allowed to use the competitors' products again.

• Perl is supposed to be a pretty cool car, but the driver's manual is incomprehensible. Also, even if you can figure out how to drive a perl car, you won't be able to drive anyone else's.

• Python is a great beginner's car; you can drive it without a license. Unless you want to drive really fast or on really treacherous terrain, you may never need another car.

• Ruby is a car that was formed when the Perl, Python and Smalltalk cars were involved in a three-way collision. A Japanese mechanic found the pieces and put together a car which many people think was better than the sum of the parts.

• Fortran is a pretty primitive car; it'll go very quickly as long as you are only going along roads that are perfectly straight. It is believed that learning to drive a Fortran car makes it impossible to learn to drive any other model.

• Cobol is reputed to be a car, but no self-respecting driver will ever admit having driven one.

• Assembly Language is a bare engine; you have to build the car yourself and manually supply it with gas while it's running, but if you're careful it can go like a bat out of hell.

Sorry, I Don't want to say about SAP

I don't know whether Moderators will allow this thread or not..

If they allow, we can have fun in SDN.

[Former Member]

There are 10 kinds of people. Those that understand Binary, and those that don't

[Former Member]

>There are 10 kinds of people. Those that understand Binary, and those that don't

There are Few type of people who keep on repeating the old old saying which we are hearing the same Sentence since childhood.... Moos man Try some thing Different Yar....Virgin mobile

Slumdog Software's ....

Sas

[Former Member]

Last week, we took some friends out to a new restaurant, and noticed that the waiter who took our order carried a spoon in his shirt pocket. It seemed a little strange. When the busboy brought our water and utensils, I noticed he also had a spoon in his shirt pocket. Then I looked around saw that all the staff had spoons in their pockets.

When the waiter came back to serve our soup I asked, "Why the spoon?" Well," he explained, "the restaurant's owners hired Kurt Salmon Associates to revamp all our processes. After several months of analysis, they concluded that the spoon is the most frequently dropped utensil. It represents a drop frequency of approximately 3 spoons per table per hour. If our personnel are better prepared, we can reduce the number of trips back to the kitchen and save 15 man-hours per shift."

As luck would have it, I dropped my spoon and he was able to replace it with his spare. "I'll get another spoon next time I go to the kitchen instead of making an extra trip to get it right now." I was impressed.

I also noticed that there was a string hanging out of the waiter's fly. Looking around, I noticed that all the waiters had the same string hanging from their flies. So before he walked off, I asked the waiter, "Excuse me, but can you tell me why you have that string right there?"

"Oh, certainly!" Then he lowered his voice. "Not everyone is so observant. That consulting firm I mentioned also found out that we can save time in the restroom. By tying this string to the tip of you know what, we can pull it out without touching it and eliminate the need to wash our hands, shortening the time spent in the restroom by 76.39%."

"After you get it out, how do you put it back?"

Well," he whispered, "I don't know about the others, but I use the spoon."

[Former Member]

The start of the new school term always brings out the most interesting questions for computer consultants on campus. The predominant questions this term pertain to "getting into" E-mail and how to access the "Information Highway."

An obviously distraught student came into the consulting office yesterday complaining that his E-mail wasn't working. His attempts to get tickets for an on-campus concert kept resulting in returned mail.

He showed me the mail address he was attempting to reach. I asked him where he obtained such an unusual mail address.

He replied, "The sign advertising the concert said, 'begins@7:30PM'."

[Former Member]

>

> Last week, we took some friends out to a new restaurant, and noticed that the waiter who took our order carried a spoon in his shirt pocket. It seemed a little strange. When the busboy brought our water and utensils, I noticed he also had a spoon in his shirt pocket. Then I looked around saw that all the staff had spoons in their pockets.
> 
> When the waiter came back to serve our soup I asked, "Why the spoon?" Well," he explained, "the restaurant's owners hired Kurt Salmon Associates to revamp all our processes. After several months of analysis, they concluded that the spoon is the most frequently dropped utensil. It represents a drop frequency of approximately 3 spoons per table per hour. If our personnel are better prepared, we can reduce the number of trips back to the kitchen and save 15 man-hours per shift."
> 
> As luck would have it, I dropped my spoon and he was able to replace it with his spare. "I'll get another spoon next time I go to the kitchen instead of making an extra trip to get it right now." I was impressed.
> 
> I also noticed that there was a string hanging out of the waiter's fly. Looking around, I noticed that all the waiters had the same string hanging from their flies. So before he walked off, I asked the waiter, "Excuse me, but can you tell me why you have that string right there?"
> 
> "Oh, certainly!" Then he lowered his voice. "Not everyone is so observant. That consulting firm I mentioned also found out that we can save time in the restroom. By tying this string to the tip of you know what, we can pull it out without touching it and eliminate the need to wash our hands, shortening the time spent in the restroom by 76.39%."
> 
> "After you get it out, how do you put it back?" 
> 
> Well," he whispered, "I don't know about the others, but I use the spoon."

I read this piece about 5 years ago. Only difference was that it was Anderson Consulting then

pk

[Former Member]

Yes, I also came across a joke about Anderson and Deloitte Consultants flying together on a Plane

[Former Member]

Is that the one with the BoM?

pk

[Former Member]

hahaha....nope, it's [this|http://www.netjeff.com/humor/item.cgi?file=Consultingjoke]