Software Jokes.....

[Former Member]

If computer languages were car!

• C is a racing car that goes incredibly fast but breaks down every fifty miles.

• C++ is a souped-up racing car with dozens of extra features that only breaks down every 250 miles, but when it does, nobody can figure out what went wrong.

• Java is a family station wagon. It's easy to drive, it's not that fast, and nobody wants to drive it.

• C# is a competing model of family station wagons. Once you use this, you're never allowed to use the competitors' products again.

• Perl is supposed to be a pretty cool car, but the driver's manual is incomprehensible. Also, even if you can figure out how to drive a perl car, you won't be able to drive anyone else's.

• Python is a great beginner's car; you can drive it without a license. Unless you want to drive really fast or on really treacherous terrain, you may never need another car.

• Ruby is a car that was formed when the Perl, Python and Smalltalk cars were involved in a three-way collision. A Japanese mechanic found the pieces and put together a car which many people think was better than the sum of the parts.

• Fortran is a pretty primitive car; it'll go very quickly as long as you are only going along roads that are perfectly straight. It is believed that learning to drive a Fortran car makes it impossible to learn to drive any other model.

• Cobol is reputed to be a car, but no self-respecting driver will ever admit having driven one.

• Assembly Language is a bare engine; you have to build the car yourself and manually supply it with gas while it's running, but if you're careful it can go like a bat out of hell.

Sorry, I Don't want to say about SAP

I don't know whether Moderators will allow this thread or not..

If they allow, we can have fun in SDN.

[Former Member]

Facts about Software Guys !!

Project Manager: is a Person who thinks Nine women can deliver a baby in One month.

Developer: Is a Person who thinks a single woman cannot deliver a baby in nine months.

Onsite Coordinator: Is one who thinks single woman can deliver nine babies in one month.

Client: Is one who knows that it takes a man, a woman & nine months to deliver a baby, But expects otherwise.

Marketing manager: Is a person who thinks I can deliver a child whether a man and woman is available or not.

Resource optimisation Ieam: Thinks I don't want man or woman, I'll still produce a child with zero resources.

Documentation team: Will think I don't care how a child is delivered, I'll just document 9 months.

QA Auditor: This is the only person who is never happy with the PROCESS to produce baby.

[Former Member]

Yes here it is Software Engineer Husband :

Husband - hey dear, I am logged in.

Wife - would you like to have some snacks?
Husband - hard disk full.

Wife - have you brought the saree.
Husband - Bad command or file name.

Wife - but I told you about it in morning
Husband - erroneous syntax, abort, retry, cancel.

Wife - hae bhagwan !forget it where's your salary.
Husband - file in use, read only, try after some time.

Wife - at least give me your credit card,
i can do some shopping.
Husband - sharing violation, access denied.

Wife - i made a mistake in marrying you.
Husband - data type mismatch.

Wife - you are useless.
Husband - by default.

Wife - who was there with you in the car this morning?
Husband - system unstable press ctrl, alt, del to
Reboot.

Wife - what is the relation between you & your
Receptionist?
Husband - the only user with write permission.

Wife - what is my value in your life?
Husband - unknown virus detected.

Wife - do you love me or your computer?
Husband - Too many parameters.

Wife - i will go to my dadu2019s house.
Husband - program performed illegal operation, it will
Close.

Wife - I will leave you forever.
Husband - close all programs and log out for another User.

Wife - it is worthless talking to you.
Husband - shut down the computer.

Wife - I am going
Husband - Its now safe to turn off your computer

Cheers,

Amit.