How many SDN-ers does it take to change a light bulb?

[matt]

Inspired by the comment here: , I just wondered.

How many SDN-ers does it take to change a light bulb?

[Former Member]

I have been able to change light bulbs, following a step by step guide I got from an SAP Energy consultant.

But what worries me now is the new European legislation that is going to dissupport previous versions of light bulbs. Any1 can provide a step by step guide how to change new energy-efficient light bulbs?

Full ponits will be rwarded.

[former_member110461]

What version / support package of light bulb are you trying to change?

Please do the needful and respond in a timely manner.

[former_member205352]

Please check the below links:

light bulb1

light bulb2

.

.

.

light bulb 100

.

.

.

light bulb n

Ask me if you have any further questions.

[matt]

<br>Please try this. It's all my own work and not ripped off from the first hit I got in google. honest<br><br>

Q: How many Dell Tech Support people does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: Ring-ring ring-ring Ring-ring ring-ring Ring-ring ring-ring

Ring-ring ring-ring Ring-ring ring-ring Ring-ring ring-ring Ring-ring

ring-ring Ring-ring ring-ring Ring-ring ring-ring Ring-ring ring-ring

Ring-ring ring-ring Ring-ring ring-ring Ring-ring ring-ring Ring-ring

ring-ring Ring-ring ring-ring Ring-ring ring-ring.....

Q: How many college football players does it take to change a light

bulb?

A: The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!

Q: How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: None.... There never was any light bulb, don't you remember?

Q: How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

A: That's not funny!

Q: How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: None. It turns itself in.

Q: How many doctors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: Three: One to find a bulb specialist, one to find a bulb installation

specialist, and one to bill it all to Medicare.

Q: How many Marxists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: None: The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.

Q: How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Seven: One to install the new bulb, and six to figure what to do with

the old one for the next 10,000 years.

Q: How many consultants does it take to change a light bulb?

A: I'll have an estimate for you a week from Monday.

Q: How many brewers does it take to change a light bulb?

A: One-third less than for a regular bulb.

Q: How many mystery writers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: Two: One to screw it almost all the way in and the other to give it

a surprising twist at the end.

Q: How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself

symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in

a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a cosmos of

nothingness.

Q: How many Orthodox Rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Change?

Q: How many women with PMS does it take to change a light bulb?

A: One. Only ONE!! And do you know WHY it only takes ONE? Because no one

else in this house knows HOW to change a light bulb. They don't even

know the bulb is BURNED OUT. They would sit in this house in the

dark for THREE DAYS before they figured it OUT. And once they figured it

out they wouldn't be able to find the light bulbs despite the fact

that they've been in the SAME CUPBOARD for the past SEVENTEEN YEARS. But

if they did, by some miracle, actually find the light bulbs, TWO DAYS

LATER the chair that they dragged from two rooms over to stand on

to change the STUPID light bulb would STILL BE IN THE SAME SPOT!! AND

UNDERNEATH IT WOULD BE THE CRUMPLED WRAPPER THE STUPID @*!#$% LIGHT

BULBS CAME IN! WHY?! BECAUSE NO ONE IN THIS HOUSE EVER CARRIES OUT

THE GARBAGE!! IT'S A WONDER WE HAVEN'T ALL SUFFOCATED FROM THE PILES

OF GARBAGE THAT ARE 12 FEET DEEP THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE HOUSE. THE

HOUSE!! IT WOULD TAKE AN ARMY TO CLEAN THIS... I'm sorry...what did

you ask me?

How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

Charismatic: Only one. Hands already in the air.

Pentecostal: Ten. One to change the bulb, and nine to pray against

spirit of darkness.

Presbyterians: None. Lights will go on and off at predestined times.

Roman Catholic: None. Candles only.

Baptists: At least 15. One to change the light bulb, and three

committees to approve the change and decide who brings the potato salad

and fried chicken.

Episcopalians: Three. One to call the electrician, one to mix the

drinks, and one to talk about how much better the old one was.

Methodists: Undetermined. Whether your light is bright, dull, or

completely out, you are loved. You can be a light bulb, turnip bulb, or

tulip bulb. Church-wide lighting service is planned for Sunday. Bring

bulb of your choice and a covered dish.

Nazarene: Six. One woman to replace the bulb while five men review

church lighting policy.

Lutherans: None. Lutherans don't believe in change.

Amish: What's a light bulb?

Q: How many managers does it take to change a light bulb?

A: We've formed a task force to study the problem of why light bulbs

burn out and to figure out what, exactly, we as supervisors can do to

make the bulbs work smarter, not harder.

Q: How many shipping department personnel does it take to change a light

bulb?

A: We can change the light bulb in seven to ten working days, but if you

call before 2 p.m. and pay an extra $15, we can get the bulb changed

overnight.

Q: How many Management Information Services guys does it take to change

a light bulb?

A: MIS (IT) has received your request concerning your hardware problem

and has assigned you request number 359712. Please use this number for

any future references to the light-bulb issue.

Q: How many divorce lawyers does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: 3 - one to argue for the rights of the old lightbulb, one to argue

for the rights of the new lightbulb, and one to argue for the rights of

the light socket

Q. How many Socialist Workers Party members does it take to change

a lightbulb.

A. Four. One to change the bulb, one to write about it for "the

paper", one to sell you "the paper" and another to follow you home and

ask why you weren't at the bulb changing, if you plan to make the next

one and if you were still as committed.

Q. How many historians does it take to change a lightbulb?

A. I dunno - not my period.

Q. How many revisionist historians does it take to change a

lightbulb?

A. In actual fact, against popular consensus, the lightbulb was

never actually changed.

Q. How many cultural historians does it take to change a lightbulb?

A. I am less interested in the lightbulb than the discourses

surrounding the changing.

Q. How many art historians does it take to change a lightbulb.

A. 11. One to change the lightbulb, and 5 to show earlier versions

that influenced it, and 5 to say that the changing was actually done by

the changers apprentice.

Q. How many Scottish historians does it take to change a lightbulb.

A. All of them, because they are sick of living under the shadow of

England for so long.

Q: How many singer-songwriters does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: One. They hold the bulb and the world revolves around them.

Q: how many ska kids does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: 6, one to drop it and 5 to pick it up! pick it up! pick it up!

Q: How many senior Presidential Aides does it take to change a light

bulb?

A: None. They're supposed to keep the President in the dark.

A' : One: to award a billion dollar sole-source contract with

Halliburton to replace it.

A'': thirty-eight: One to say that no one could have foreseen the bulb's

burning out, one to spin stories for newspapers that the President's

bulb-changing program is working well, and thirty-five to go out on talk

shows to accuse the Democrats of being weak on light, and one to deny

rumors that it's still dark in there.

A''': sixty: thirty to bribe staffers to write letters telling everyone

how wonderful it is to sit in the dark, and thirty more to bribe

newspaper editors to publish those letters.

A'''': The Administration will defend its policy of warrant-less

surveillance of all Americans suspected of supporting foreign terrorist

bulbs entering this country.

Q. How many voyeurs does it take to change a lightbulb?

A. Only one, but they'd much rather watch someone else do it.

Q: How many Yemenites does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: Only one, but it must be a Yemenite lightbulb.

Q: How many customer service representatives does it take to change a

lightbulb?

A: 5. One to incorrectly diagnose the problem, 2 to repeat the first

rep's notes to the customer, and one to inform the customer that the

lightbulb changing service is no longer available in that location.

Q: How many Palistinians does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: 2. One to negotiate with the old bulb and one to shoot at it at the

same time.

Q. How Many Dogs Does It Take to Change A Light Bulb?

A1. Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our

whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid

burned out bulb?

A2. Border Collie: Just one. And then I'll replace any wiring that's not

up to code.

A3. Dachshund: You know I can't reach that stupid lamp!

A4. Rottweiler: Make me.

A5. Boxer: Who cares? I can still play with my squeaky toys in the dark.

A6. Lab: Oh, me, me!!!!! Pleeeeeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can

I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Huh? Can I? Pleeeeeeeeeze, please, please, please!

A7. German Shepherd: I'll change it as soon as I lead these people from

the dark, check to make sure I haven't missed any, and make just one

more perimeter patrol to see that no one has tried to take advantage of

the situation.

A8. Jack Russell Terrier: I'll just pop it in while I'm bouncing off the

walls and furniture.

A9. Old English Sheep Dog: Light bulb? I'm sorry, but I don't see a light

bulb?

A10. Cocker Spaniel: Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the

dark.

A11. Chihuahua: Yo quiero Taco Bulb.

A12. Pointer: I see it, there it is, there it is, right there ...

A13. Greyhound: It isn't moving. Who cares?

A14. New Zealand Sheep Dog: First, I'll put all the light bulbs in a

little cluster...

A15. Toy Poodle: I'll just blow in the Border Collie's ear and he'll do

it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry.

The Cat's Answer: "Dogs do not change light bulbs. People change light

bulbs. So, the real question is: How long will it be before I can expect

some light, some dinner, and a massage?"

ALL OF WHICH PROVES, ONCE AGAIN, THAT WHILE DOGS HAVE MASTERS, CATS HAVE

STAFF.

(The following refers to the current Bush regime.)

Q: How many Bush Administration officials does it take to screw in a

light bulb?

A: None. There is nothing wrong with the light bulb; it's condition is

improving every day. Any reports of it's lack of incandescence are

totally unfounded, and the result of delusional "spin" assaults from the

fanatic, elitist, liberal media. That light bulb has served honorably,

and anything you say undermines the lighting effect and dims it's ego.

Why do you hate freedom?

Q. How many Massage Therapists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A. One, but they have to have candles and soft music to do it.

Q. How many Anglican ministers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A. Change? In an Anglican church? I think not!

Q. How many Englishmen does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A. None. They'd rather curse the darkness.

Q. How many femmes does it take...?

A. Why would we want to! - the world is full of perfectly good butches!

[matt]

That wasn't all of them. But it seems there's a 15'000 character limit on all posts.

matt

[jurjen_heeck]

How many lightbulbs have to be changed before your previous post will become readable

[Former Member]

A short dump circuit?

I think Matt is baiting us...

I just send such posts (if worth reading) to myself as a mail - there much of the formating is restored.

Cheers,

Julius

Edited by: Julius Bussche on Aug 18, 2009 11:02 PM

[matt]

>

> How many lightbulbs have to be changed before your previous post will become readable  

It has to go below the 2500 character limit.

[jurjen_heeck]

> It has to go below the 2500 character limit.

That's a way too serious answer character <> lightbulb

[Former Member]

>>That wasn't all of them. But it seems there's a 15'000 character limit on all posts.

Thank God SAP