Coffee Corner Discussions
Get to know other SAP Community members during your coffee break. Join discussions on a variety of topics in a casual environment.
cancel
Showing results for 
Search instead for 
Did you mean: 

Jokes corner

manfredKlein
Participant
23,690

Humor up your life. My brain was able to store lots of jokes. Somehow most is lost now in the late 40ies. If you have brain like strainer you have to write down. Ok, lets do this...

 

... asked my daughter to hand me the newspaper. She scolded me being old fashioned and handed me her smart phone. Ok. The fly is dead now...

74 REPLIES 74

manfredKlein
Participant
14,900

True story:

'C'mon, we're finished for today. Let's go for one or two beers!'

'Naaa, I can't.'

'C'mon, what's wrong with having one or two beers??'

'Shorry, can't do that. Can't have simply one or two beers. When I'm having beers I must have ALL the beers!'

manfredKlein
Participant
13,197

A guy flies with a balloon through foggy air and lost orientation. Suddenly someone sitting on a computer appears behind an opened window. The guy asked: 'excuse me, where am I?' - 'You are in an air balloon.' - '*Sigh* You must be an IT guy. Providing absolute correct answers nobody can make use of.' - 'Yeah, and You must be management: Don't know where You are, don't know where You want to go and blame the IT.'

manfredKlein
Participant
10,495

They say a schnapps shortens your live time by 5 minutes.

A cigarette by 10 minutes.

But really dangerous is a working day with ~8 hours.

manfredKlein
Participant
8,045

Don't let anyone ruin your day. It's Your day. Go and ruin it yourself!

manfredKlein
Participant
6,558

Had to chase the bus between two stops. My dog decided to go the rest of the way by bus and didn't tell me.

StephanieMarley
Community Advocate
Community Advocate
6,556

Have you heard the one about the skunk? Never mind, it really stinks. (drum roll please! 🤣)


----- Find out What's New in SAP Community - click on "Options - Subscribe" today!-----

6,550

I actually chuckled at that one. 🙂

Make sure to subscribe to What's New!

mmcisme1
Active Contributor
6,535

How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?

None, because it is a hardware problem.

 

manfredKlein
Participant
0 Kudos
6,526

A dyslexic guy walks into a bra...

manfredKlein
Participant
6,393

I'm not crazy. I just have innovative behavior.

ennowulff
Active Contributor
6,348

A QA engineer walks into a bar.
Orders a beer.
Orders 0 beers.
Orders 99999999999 beers.
Orders a lizard.
Orders -1 beers.
Orders a ueicbksjdhd.

First real customer walks in and asks where the bathroom is.
The bar bursts into flames, killing everyone.

Original on twitter.

 

StephanieMarley
Community Advocate
Community Advocate
6,346

TGIF: What do you call a Friday that is not serious about anything in life?

Casual Friday. Have a good weekend all!😁


----- Find out What's New in SAP Community - click on "Options - Subscribe" today!-----

6,231

And a friday going nuts is a Cashew Friday.

0 Kudos
5,778

Vacation Friday.   That means Thursday becomes - Virtual Friday.

0 Kudos
5,766

Had to pause my last christmas holiday on a wednesday. So I had tgif and ofim all in one day.

Edit: While tgif seems to be known, ofim is not: Ooh f... it's monday!

manfredKlein
Participant
5,884

What is the difference between a software sales guy and a second hand car dealer?

The car dealer is aware of the lies.

manfredKlein
Participant
5,866

Boss: I don't condone child labor. But they are always the only ones knowing what the heck is wrong with my computer...

mmcisme1
Active Contributor
5,801

Never bring a pig to a bank robbery.  They will always squeal.  🥁🥁  (These are the best I can do for drums)

manfredKlein
Participant
5,569

Announcer: 'The little That's-none-of-Your-f..ing-business-what-my-name-is wants to be fetched from children's paradise...'

Mother: *sigh* *facepalm*

A classic in don't-talk-to-strangers taken too seriously.

manfredKlein
Participant
4,664

If Stupidity would grant blue dots, we would live in a world of smurfs...

addo_bernard
Discoverer
4,659

Guess who I met at the phone shop?

0 Kudos
4,057

@addo_bernard who?😄


----- Find out What's New in SAP Community - click on "Options - Subscribe" today!-----

craigcmehil
Community Administrator
Community Administrator
4,057

You've heard of Murphy's Law but have you heard of Cole's Law?

 

 

 

 

 

Spoiler
You know, you take cabbage, carrots and all that shredded together. It's a great side dish for your meal.


mmcisme1
Active Contributor
4,046

Joke - I heard this one again..  So I'll add it - response later.

You get to a fork in the road.   There are two people standing there.  One always tells the truth one always lies.   You get one question.  You want to go where everyone tells the truth.  

What's the question - and no that isn't the answer.  If it is already here - I apologize.   And of course, no google search allowed.  

4,044

@Former Member what a way to start my day....I'll be trying to figure this out all day 🤣


----- Find out What's New in SAP Community - click on "Options - Subscribe" today!-----

mmcisme1
Active Contributor
3,945

Which way to where you live?

Truth = tells truth  and sends you down the correct road

Lie = tells lie and sends you down the correct road

manfredKlein
Participant
3,494

Chuck Norris can slice knifes with bread.

craigcmehil
Community Administrator
Community Administrator
3,489

Did you see that video clip as well? Like Chuck Norris can't fly the Earth just keeps a respectful distance from him 🙂



StephanieMarley
Community Advocate
Community Advocate
0 Kudos
3,481

What do you call a fish with no eyes?


----- Find out What's New in SAP Community - click on "Options - Subscribe" today!-----

3,420

Fsh!


----- Find out What's New in SAP Community - click on "Options - Subscribe" today!-----

Prathami
Explorer
2,883

What do you call BEE that is very nice around you ?
HaBEEBEE

manfredKlein
Participant
1,309

Hi,

saw a funny short video:

Wizard and Barbarian approach a gate with 2 guards.

One guard telling the truth, one guard lying.

Wizard: 'I know that one. We have to...'

Barbarian pulls out axe and chops down one guard.

Wizard: WHATTT?

Barbarian grips remaining guard at neck and asks hinting to the slain guard: 'This guard dead??'

Guard hesitating: 'No?'

Barbarian smiling: 'This one lying!' 

matt
Active Contributor
1,295

Babies are brought by the stork.

Heavier babies are brought by the crane.

KatherineKenneally
Community Advocate
Community Advocate
0 Kudos
1,061

Apparently today (July 1st) is International Joke Day! Who knew! It's a very cold Monday here in Ireland, could do with a bit of light cheer today if anyone knows any good jokes?!


--- Check out our latest contest My Most Clever Response in a Job Interview ---


manfredKlein
Participant
1,021

Currently 3 Aliens tell quite low jokes on video platforms. Here are a few examples:

  • How do You call a retired Terminator? . EX-Terminator
  • My Alphabet only has 25 letters... I don't know (wh)Y.
  • Why can't You hear the Pterodactyl on the toilet? - The P(ee) is silent.