topic Re: Jokes corner in Coffee Corner Discussions

Jokes corner

manfredKlein — Mon, 18 Oct 2021 05:35:41 GMT

Humor up your life. My brain was able to store lots of jokes. Somehow most is lost now in the late 40ies. If you have brain like strainer you have to write down. Ok, lets do this...

... asked my daughter to hand me the newspaper. She scolded me being old fashioned and handed me her smart phone. Ok. The fly is dead now...

Re: Jokes corner

manfredKlein — Mon, 18 Oct 2021 05:53:50 GMT

Dogs have masters/mistresses, cats have servants.

Re: Jokes corner

LaurensDeprost — Mon, 18 Oct 2021 06:51:56 GMT

An SQL query walks into a bar, walks up to two tables and asks: "Can I join you?" 🤓

Re: Jokes corner

matt — Mon, 18 Oct 2021 07:00:58 GMT

From Terry Pratchett.
The wizard Humptulip's book (Howe To Kille Insects) is a valuable tool and reference when killing insects, especially since it has 2000 pages.

Re: Jokes corner

matt — Mon, 18 Oct 2021 07:01:46 GMT

You must be part of the Union.

Re: Jokes corner

matt — Mon, 18 Oct 2021 07:05:13 GMT

Authorisation failure?

That Sapalling.

Re: Jokes corner

manfredKlein — Mon, 18 Oct 2021 08:51:42 GMT

Bathroom is locked to prevent unauthorized access. You have to ask the bartender for the proper foreign key. Otherwise you can't flush your contents.

If you are not commited you can roll back to the entrance.

Re: Jokes corner

abo — Mon, 18 Oct 2021 10:59:24 GMT

Person 1: The glass is 1/2 full

Person 2: The glass is 1/2 empty

Excel: The glass is the 1st of February

(Shamelessly stolen from a tweet)

Re: Jokes corner

manfredKlein — Mon, 18 Oct 2021 10:57:18 GMT

engineer: The glass is 100% oversized. (also stolen somewhere)

Re: Jokes corner

manfredKlein — Mon, 18 Oct 2021 11:06:49 GMT

My boss forbade me giving my colleagues nicknames. Obviously §$%&-face, ($"§/&-bag and ?=/&$-mass objected.

Re: Jokes corner

mmcisme1 — Mon, 18 Oct 2021 11:52:13 GMT

I met someone at a function last night, I asked for their number so I could call them. They told me it was classified.

Re: Jokes corner

MortenWittrock — Mon, 18 Oct 2021 14:10:16 GMT

https://blogs.sap.com/2016/12/14/an-in-memory-database-by-any-other-name-would-be-as-fast/

Yes, I will keep stubbornly posting this until it gets a laugh 😄

Re: Jokes corner

DellSC — Mon, 18 Oct 2021 14:36:24 GMT

I always heard this as "cats have minions". 🙂

Re: Jokes corner

manfredKlein — Tue, 19 Oct 2021 04:02:32 GMT

A cat with the name Gru?

Re: Jokes corner

matt — Tue, 19 Oct 2021 13:02:40 GMT

I smiled...

Re: Jokes corner

MortenWittrock — Tue, 19 Oct 2021 13:07:22 GMT

Thank you! That's much appreciated 🙂

Re: Jokes corner

manfredKlein — Wed, 20 Oct 2021 07:51:18 GMT

Matrix: 'Don't try to bend the glass. That's impossible.' 'Why?' 'Because the glass doesn't exist.'

Re: Jokes corner

manfredKlein — Thu, 21 Oct 2021 04:19:55 GMT

'Hey! Smoking Dope makes you indifferent!' - ' Bah! I don't care!'

Re: Jokes corner

manfredKlein — Thu, 21 Oct 2021 08:12:44 GMT

Real life is the best comedy. Our system refuses to send mails with noreply@mycompany.com. Proposed solution is to create a mail account with noreply@mycompany.com, seriously???

'Hi, where do You come from?' - 'I'm from Potempkin town.'

Re: Jokes corner

mmcisme1 — Thu, 21 Oct 2021 11:36:47 GMT

😄😄 My favorite still has to be and always is. Busy.... Please take a coffee break. (Or something similar. An older version of SAP)

The mark of insanity - doing the same exact thing and expecting a different result.